Lust & Love

If one wants another only for some self-satisfaction, usually in the form of sensual pleasure, that wrong desire takes the form of lust rather than love.
Mortimer Adler

They say that it’s better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all. But is it better to have lust and lost then never have lust at all? What is the line between lust and love and what do the two truly mean?

Over the years, people have been receiving images or storybook versions of love. If you notice in all the classic storybooks or movies the plot is usually surrounded by the concept of love; whether it’s a love of a child to its mother or if it’s the love of a prince to a princess or of a street boy to a sultan’s daughter, all of which revolves around love. They say love can move mountains, but is that really the case? What if love is something much more natural and simple but isn’t given its chance or is going unnoticed because of all the preconceived notions in our society? Has love become extinct and being replaced by lust? Or is lust something else entirely? When two people are in a relationship, do they feel the love instantly, or is love something that grows over time?

In my personal opinion I think it is physically impossible to acknowledge your feelings unless you are truly honest with yourself. To be in a relationship, is not necessarily being in lust and it’s definitely not a sign that you’re in love. Here in the Middle East the status of “in love” and “in a relationship” are often confused for one.

People instantly think that once two people are in a relationship or going out that that means one of two things:

  1. They’re madly in love
  2. They’re just playing around which is considered taboo.

In my opinion this is a type of ignorance. Love is something that grows, its two souls becoming one. It’s not something created over night and is definitely not something that can be titled. But in our society it’s a must that after a week or two of being “boyfriend” “girlfriend” that the guy tells the girl he loves her whether he thinks he feels it, or is just saying it because he thinks he’s supposed to.

That is what I call lust. Lust is also when you hear a guy tell another guy that he’s in “love” with this girl he saw yesterday. He didn’t talk to her he just saw here and magically fell in “love” with her. This my friends is what I call the most primitive form of lust. There’s the more sophisticated form of lust that can honestly be mistaken for love. It takes place when a guy and girl have been going out for quite a while and start to get used to each other.

Being with each other becomes a routine or something that they just got so used to that it’s hard to think of living without them, not because of the person themselves or what you feel for that person, but simply because of the notion of being alone or fear of change.

This is the kind of lust that goes undetected unless one of the people starts to wander off, becomes interested in someone new, or when one of the two finally wakes up from the coma and realizes that they’re not in love with that person, but that they can’t live without them. Sometimes this situation is never detected and both parties just settle for lust instead of love.

Now that we’ve established that love and lust are two independent states, would you be willing to settle for lust instead of love? Or would you not know the difference if you had never been in love? What about if you’ve loved and lost as they say, would you settle for second best and pursue a relationship if you knew it would never be more than lust? I wish I could answer all these questions, but the answer to all these questions are a matter of personal preference, each person is unique and can find the answers to these questions by looking within themselves and acting accordingly.

In the end each and every person is seeking happiness that can only be assessed within oneself.

 ~A spoken word is a moment. A written word is eternal~

Moe R.