Insecurity & Implications (The intro)

“Bigotry and judgment are the height of insecurity”
Jasmine Guy

 

 

I have always thought that insecurity is a trait that doesn’t cause that much boost in the person’s confidence if known, as much as it causes pain and agony in a person’s insides, confusing, manipulating & trenching your living soul if it managed to take over and abuse the best of you.

Let’s begin with dictionary.com definition:

In*se*cure
1. Not sure or certain; doubtful: unemployed and facing an insecure future.
2. Inadequately guarded or protected; unsafe: A shortage of military police made the air base insecure.
3. Not firm or fixed; unsteady: an insecure foothold.
4. Lacking stability; troubled: an insecure relationship.
5. Lacking self-confidence; plagued by anxiety: had always felt insecure at parties.

As I read this definition, something occurred that had previously escaped me. In all my uses of the word “insecure” I always naturally correlated it to a lack of security in oneself… As in, a lack of confidence. But the word “insecure” also describes a fear of safety. It is interesting that a lack of confidence in oneself often, in our social world, preempts a fear in one’s own safety… be it emotionally or physically.

The reason I am writing this right now is that I am currently suffering from various pains. These pains include a fear of being alone, fear of being manipulated, fear of betraying others, and a fear of being taken advantage of. In fact, none of the pain I suffer is pain, per say… it is a fear of pain.

If we therefore umbrella all of the fears into one, we find ourselves fearful of pain. This would be the “parent” fear from which all other fears are born. So we’ll begin with that.

Why does there exist a fear of pain within me? Logically speaking, it would be because I have felt pain in the past, found it to be unpleasant, and therefore do not wish to have it re-occur. Further logic would indicate that the more severe the pain, the more severe the fear.

This fear of pain would attach itself to an event or circumstance that propagated the pain. If you got burned by a flame, you would naturally be fearful of flames. So let’s use my situation as a case study to figure out what past events caused me pain and how I am now conditioned to fear those “flames”.

Throughout the next upcoming blogs I’ll be previewing my opinion on each & every fear causing this dilemma, starting from the fear of “Guilt” to “Rejection” and “Inadequacy”; and your comments will be much appreciated upon this.

~A spoken word is a moment. A written word is eternal~

Moe R.

 

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