Replace “What if” with “Hell Yeah” Part (1)
Dearest C-Town Natives & Friends,
As a Trainer and coach who has worked with hundreds of trainees & candidates mostly youth between the age of 20 & 30, I often witness how people stop themselves by allowing fear and self-doubt to keep themselves ‘playing small’ in their goals and their lives. The thing is, they’re often not even aware of it.
Here’s what I mean… People SAY they want something very badly, that they want a change, and theoretically, that they’d do anything to get it.
But when the rubber meets the road, it’s a totally different story. For many, when it’s time to take action, they’re just not willing to take the steps or do the work that creates the result. It’s that inner self-doubt that consistently has them questioning every single move they make in growing their life and even their business.
Here are are some basic steps to break through that fear and self-doubt:
1. Make a Decision. Once you define your dream or goal, decide that you want to live this kind of happy and satisfied life. This may seem basic but many people never decide and commit fully to their dream. They simply keep “thinking” about it. Or, when the first obstacle appears and they give up. Make a commitment to yourself. Right now is not the time to worry about how to make it happen, or how you are going to move through your challenges. Instead, plant the seed of your dream inside of you and you commit to loving this seed until the day you can harvest the fruits of your efforts.
Honor your commitment to self. No one can let you down more than you can. Make a commitment about what you want and stand strong in your commitment. No matter how challenging, how fearful, or overwhelming it may seem, decide you are going for it! Why? For no other reason than because you want it. There are no should’s, have to’s, or weak choices. This is something you want for yourself and a choice you have made.
2. Take a “No-Excuses” Approach
Although, some may call them “reasons”, people stop themselves all the time by using excuses. The opportunity they want so badly finally shows up, and they make excuses so as not to go forward. The biggest excuses I hear are “I don’t have enough money,” “I don’t have enough time, “I’m too busy”, “I don’t want to travel,” and the list goes on.
They use these excuses as their trap door, their escape route.
Let me ask you this—when pressed in a life or death situation, would you find the time or money? If someone you loved was trapped in a building, would you stop trying to rescue them if the front door was locked? No, of course not. You’d try the back door, then the windows, and every other possible way, right?
To achieve success, you’ve got to be willing to take the same approach with your life. Successful people are those who take a No-Excuses Approach and are willing to do what others won’t.
So, how badly do you want it? You either have excuses or you have results. Which do you choose?
3. You Are Not Your Fear. As you move forward on your dream, doubt and fear are going to show up sooner than you might have expected. To move beyond fear, it is helpful to learn to separate yourself from your fear. For example, instead of thinking an all encompassing statement such as, “I am fearful,” learn instead to say, “There is a part of me that is fearful and doesn’t want to move forward. But somewhere inside of me there is also a desire to continue moving forward.”
Fear is not all of who you are, rather it is an emotion that you are experiencing. The key is to recognize your fear, avoid becoming identified with your fear, and keep breathing. Breathing keeps the energy moving and prevents you from being consumed in fear’s heavy embrace.
No matter how scary it seems, decide to sit with your emotion of fear for the purpose of accepting its presence, but not necessarily agreeing with its point of view. Acceptance helps because avoiding it doesn’t make it go away, looking the other way doesn’t make it disappear, and ignoring it does not make it any less painful. So, breathe. Then tell yourself that even though you are feeling intense fear, you can still take action. Look fear in the eye and let it know, “You are not the boss of me!” Then take the necessary steps to gain new tools and strategies to move forward on your dream once again.
4. Feel the Fear Yes! But Do It Anyway
The ego creates fear to keep you small. For example, fear of rejection, fear of overwhelm, fear of humiliation, fear of making mistakes, fear of losing it all, fear of the unknown, and on and on it goes. The list is huge.
All the candidates I knew experience fear. What separates those who are successful and those who allow fear to hold them back is the willingness to act in spite of the fear. The best way to get over the fear is to walk directly into it. It takes courage but you know what?
Walking into fear is never as bad as you think it’s going to be. Instead, you’ll find it liberating.
Well, we are not done yet here and there are still further steps to consider to overcome your fears & doubts; And by the end of the second upcoming article you will be able to put your first steps onto the concept of replacing your ” What if?” with ” H-E-L-L Y-E-A-H”
~A spoken word is a moment. A written word is eternal~